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Three high school virgins, suspended from school on a bogus graffiti charge, flee to the inner city in an attempt to live out the plot of The Catcher in the Rye – a book they neither have read nor understand. BINDLESTIFFS documents their struggles along the way as they surrender their virginities to vagrants, prostitutes, and crack fiends. Hot on their tail is Charlie, the deranged school security guard. Under the impression that the boys are planning a school shooting, he takes the law into his own hands to stop them and save America.
Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by repressed, born-again Katherine (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing bad-boy brother. The trail leads him to a whorehouse run by a thousand-year-old vampire (Angie Everhart) and secretly backed by Katherine’s boss, televangelist Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon).
When groom-to-be Ben’s wild ex-girlfriend Jules bursts in to declare her love for him on the eve of his wedding to Lisa, Ben is suddenly faced with a decision he didn’t realize he had to make. But that’s the problem: he has to decide.
In this bifurcated crime narrative, a disillusioned hitman attempts to escape from his violent lifestyle against the wishes of his partner, who is infatuated with him, and an eccentric mute repeatedly encounters, then subsequently falls for a depressed woman looking for the prostitute who supposedly stole her ex-boyfriend’s affections.
At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man’s diagnosis for his own and believes he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn’t tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he’s not dying at all (while he doesn’t) and she believes it’s just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him.
An obese boy named Fat Albert and his friends Rudy, Mushmouth, Bill, Dumb Donald, Russell, and Weird Harold, pulls into trouble when they “fall” out of their TV world into the real world, where Fat Albert tries to help a young girl, Doris, make friends.
Exceptionally ambitious high schooler Matthew has aspirations for a career in politics when he falls in love with his gorgeous 19-year-old neighbor, Danielle. But Matthew’s bright future is jeopardized when he finds Danielle was once a porn star. As Danielle’s past catches up with her, Matthew’s love for her forces him to re-evaluate his goals.
A group of friends awake one morning to find all electricity and power shut off and an immense alien aircraft hovering in the air above their heads. Suddenly this regular group of friends is battling to survive as the entire human race is threatened by the alien army hovering ominously above. Aliens announce a hostile takeover of Earth by cutting off all power and communications, prompting a small band of survivors to fight for the human race in this sci-fi action-adventure featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme