Arthur Bishop is a veteran hit man who, owing to his penchant for making his targets’ deaths seem like accidents, thinks himself an artist. It’s made him very rich, but as he hits middle age, he’s so depressed and lonely that he takes on one of his victim’s sons, Steve McKenna, as his apprentice. Arthur puts him through a rigorous training period and brings him on several hits. As Steven improves, Arthur worries that he’ll discover who killed his father.

Couples Bob & Carol Sanders and Ted & Alice Henderson are best friends. After attending a weekend self-help self-discovery session, Bob and Carol feel newly enlightened, and want their friends, Ted and Alice, to feel the same way.

A businessman shows up in Washington to lobby agendas that are friendly to his construction plans. His ditsy ex-showgirl bimbo proves to be an embarrassment in social situations, so he hires a reporter to teach her how to appear more intelligent. Soon it becomes apparent to the reporter that she isn’t so stupid after all, and things become more complicated as she begins questioning the papers her sugar daddy keeps getting her to sign, and the reporter begins falling in love with her.