When inept, self-proclaimed survival experts Kaduche and Wynn discover the world’s impending destruction, they pull their act off YouTube and enter Epic Mode to save the Earth. Teaming up with their nemesis, the girl of their dreams, and an eccentric visionary known as the Oracle, the group sets out to battle domestic terrorists, disenfranchised Russian communists and brain-eating zombies.

Thomas Kaiser inherits an ancestral mansion that has been in his family for generations — only to learn that he has also inherited an ancient curse stemming back to the Crusades. Forced into his new role as “protector” — the guardian appointed to keep the evil demons in the house at bay — Thomas teams with an ambitious local realtor and paranormal cleric to unravel the mystery of the house, while struggling to awaken the beautiful Briar Rose, held captive in a terrifying netherworld seen previously in his dreams.